March of the Machine as Told by Flavor Text
"Ha! You missed!"
"Heliod shines his light on all things, excising the shadows of doubt. Rejoice, for beneath his purifying eyes, Theros is united as one!"
Elspeth shone like a sixth sun, inspiring hope in the Mirrans and terror in New Phyrexia.
The same sturdy kitesail that once carried her safely through the Roil now allows her to monitor the pods' progress from above.
Her blades were twin beacons, calling the worthy to glory and the wretched to despair.
With one swift, merciful stroke, Tamiyo's story came to an end.
"We sailed to Ixalan guided by a promise—the Age of Everflowing Blood. No machine will take that from us."
Elesh Norn screamed as the light pierced her. Her nightmare had become flesh.
"I will be with you. Always."
Johar had never heard of a pterodon. He just knew Saheeli's new invention let him fly circles around the invading monsters.
She was hope incarnate, an incandescent bulwark against the tide of machines.
"*Compleat* the faith, *compleat* the god." ~ Ajani Goldmane
The diamond storms of Gobakhan hampered Phyrexia's progress until they recruited some of the local shieldmages.
"Let's show these soulless fiends what a real army looks like! Forward!" ~ Shella, knight of Zhalfir
"Brother, guide my right hand. Sister, my left. Rest well, my kin, but Lorwyn still needs me. I will not be joining you quite yet."
Raised in a long tradition of heroes, every Benalish knight knows the day might come when they will be called to face Phyrexia.
An ancient weapon for a modern war.
"One path. Many feet."
Quintorius muffled a sob as he watched the thing that was once Professor Pitnik "confiscate" yet another priceless historical tome.
The Invasion Tree wasn't merely a conduit through which to breach planes. It was a living, writhing extension of Phyrexia's will.
Bim lashed out with the only weapon she'd never run out of: lecture notes.
The angels had vowed to protect New Capenna. She was determined to uphold that vow, no matter the cost.
"Alara has been broken before. I will not let it break again."
Light glinted off the raised weapons of the Sun Empire, filling her with an unbreakable hope . . .
"Let the light scour away your imperfect flesh." ~ Heliod
No Meletian had ever laid eyes on an angel, but when protective Halo flooded the Multiverse, they knew a divine blessing was at hand.
The Royal Knights of Belenon are equally practiced in courtesy and combat.
"Obey the teachings of the dragonlords, for they provide all. They grant us magic and safety, and in return we offer respect." ~ Baihir, Dromoka mage
The Phyrexians armored themselves against blades, fire, and every conjuration they could think of. She brought a war rhino.
Errant wouldn't allow anything to stop her from decorating the streets of New Capenna.
"You have no viable escape vector. Cease your resistance and accept perfection."
Izzet researchers agreed to keep the unusual weird contained until they understood the extent of its powers.
"It's not your fault. Strixhaven taught you an imperfect premise. Okay, the imperfect execution was your fault."
Skills honed on perilous treasure hunts helped Zendikar's adventurers stay a crucial step ahead of their Phyrexian foes.
No longer bound by the myopic limitations of flesh, Ekken would truly see the realms.
Yuta Takahashi, World Champion XXVII
Where had she first seen that symbol? She usually took such detailed notes, but her memory of it was like a fading nightmare.
Innistrad's stitchers were practiced at incorporating magical substances into undead creations.
"If something seems impossible, you probably haven't tried asking for help." ~ Niambi, cleric of Dominaria
On the precipice of eternity, Elspeth made a choice. The fight would not end without her.
Teferi gave them time. Karn gave them a chance. But it was Melira who paid the ultimate price to free Ajani from Phyrexia's grasp.
Even before Phyrexia's forces arrived on Tarkir, Silumgar's draconic brood had a discerning eye for valuables.
After years of fabricating visions for naive customers of the Obscura, Stafano was flummoxed by the nightmarish scenes that played out unbidden in his mind's eye.
The Magic Mirror of Vantress showed Catrina a twisted vision of black oil and bloody machines.
On Kylem, the omens of impending invasion went largely unnoticed, drowned out by the everyday fanfare of Valor's Reach.
"Ingress without proper writ of extraplanar intent? Unacceptable!"
"Good luck getting through a class-seven proxy ward, creep."
Together with her beloved falcon, she had explored every waterway on Zendikar, from the Tazeem highlands to the inland sea.
Old glitches in mage-ring function became critical tools in Vryn's defense.
"Now's not a good time."
Just as all seemed lost, the griffin riders of Zhalfir arrived with the force of a gathered storm.
Wrenn reached out to Teferi through the Blind Eternities, and an impossible connection flared across the vast emptiness.
Phyrexia broke the laws of reality to invade the planes. On Xerex, reality merely bent around the invaders.
Patient and observant, the people of Zhalfir lurked beyond the veil of time until their moment came to finally strike at Phyrexia.
The Consulate of Kaladesh had always valued his particular talent for extracting information . . .
Mudcreep loved the taste of the funny oil that leaked from the wrecked machines in Urborg.
"All worlds will know perfection." ~ Elesh Norn
Night fell all at once. Specifically, on the Phyrexian.
The elves of Lorwyn sought perfection. The Etched Host supplied it.
Doji found the Phyrexian's essence foul, but every drop added an hour to their life.
"For the good of all, those who stand against the harmony of Phyrexia must be cut down." ~ Ajani Goldmane
Daretti looked down disdainfully. "You call yourself machines? Where's the elegance? Nothing but ugly piles of scrap."
Bodies too damaged to survive phyresis are collected and broken down into useful raw materials.
"No refunds." ~ Chammi, curio vendor
Strixhaven braced for another Oriq assault, but something far worse arrived.
As oil began to pour from Ikoria's crystals, some monsters developed strange mechanical mutations. Others were simply pulled under.
As oil seeped into their funeral shrouds, Tolvada's dead rose to join the invaders' ranks.
As the harvesters bore away the last of his limbs, what remained of Urabrask heard Elesh Norn say, "Leave the traitor be."
"You were my mistake. I will forever bear the weight of your horrors, and of your end."
"Tell Boss Umezawa there's a new gang moving in on our territory. I'm forwarding their insignia. Watch for it elsewhere."
"Of course I'd rather it hadn't skinned six of my best wizards, but as nightmare fuel goes, it's a truly inspired design." ~ Braids
As New Phyrexia phased out of existence, glistening oil all across the Multiverse was cut off from its source. The *compleated* invaders ceased to function and crumpled to the ground.
"Before I fall, I will taste the blood of Sarulf himself!"
"My new form must be hard to understand."
On Amonkhet, Phyrexia found a ready-made army of horrors waiting for a new master.
When Atraxa first arrived, the people of New Capenna rejoiced at the sight of such a grand angel. Then the slaughter began.
The Furnace Host found great value in the chaotic ingenuity of Kamigawa's akki and allowed willing converts to "experiment" however they saw fit.
Ixalan greeted Phyrexia with a defiant roar.
"I have a reckless idea," Koth offered. Chandra grinned and cracked her knuckles.
"Hold nothing back, my friends. Tonight we feast in Starnheim!"
With barely a moment's warning, a one-giant avalanche crashed into Kaldheim's defenders.
As strange portals roared open across Theros, Lydus gathered his prototype and fled. He was so close to perfecting his design.
The rest of the Gatewatch retreated. Chandra and Wrenn went in blazing.
He stood his ground in the Mirrored Depths, his roar of defiance echoed by a thousand crystalline reflections.
Nahiri's rage shattered hedrons into deadly, burning ruin.
"Zendikar must be broken before it can be saved."
With the ways between worlds thrown open, the Chain Veil's foul magic seeped from a vault deep within Ravnica all the way to Shandalar's dormant masters.
It'd played the same prank a hundred times, never noticing the flame's slowly evolving pattern.
"Good thing maintenance never got around to decatalyzing the bithermic plasma displacement conduits!"
Biffle was delighted to have an excuse to use the nice cutlery he'd liberated from Edgewall.
"My flesh is an affront to existence? Come say that to my fist, you bloated rust bucket." ~ Koko, Riveteers welder
"You always were such a sharp student. Shame it took you so long to get the point."
The New Coalition gave Shiv time to prepare a warm welcome for the invaders.
The Atarka shamans roused the fire into a scorching rebuke of the invaders and a beacon of hope for the survivors.
With Urabrask in hiding, the masterless Furnace Host was unleashed on the Multiverse to spread mayhem and destruction.
Spells once used to traverse Lorehold excavation sites were swiftly repurposed to keep the students one step ahead of the Invasion Tree's grasp.
None may approach the Ashen Idol without an offering—an edict fortuitously absent from Phyrexian intelligence concerning the world of Azgol.
"The end is always nigh. Let's have some fun!"
"That's my girl. Just don't eat it—wouldn't want you getting an upset stomach again." ~ Jalina, Ikorian bonder
Even as she burned, Wrenn bent Realmbreaker to her will.
"Deploy the blightwidows. Rankle's pests should make for a delicious meal." ~ Ayara, Furnace Queen
"Fallen angels should stay fallen." ~ Henzie "Toolbox" Torre
Though both had lost their families, the *eludha*—the spiritual connection between the monsters of Ikoria and their human bonders—gave them something greater.
Slowly, the distinct screams of the trapped faded into muffled gurgles of glistening oil.
Walls built to withstand assaults even from Ikoria's apex monsters were quickly deemed tactically irrelevant by Vorinclex's forces.
The Copper Host sought only the strongest converts. In Koma, it found perfection.
"Why won't you die, wretched flesh-beast?" ~ Lukka
Her warning raced through the roots and rivers of Ixalan: prepare for war.
The denizens of Lorwyn were accustomed to resisting darkness.
Unleashed on new worlds, the Phyrexians were driven by a simple imperative: spread and conquer.
The Hagi trolls stood little chance against Phyrexia, having killed everyone who came to Gnottvold to warn them.
"As you see, these flowers . . . can have either restorative or poisonous . . . what is that?"
Her arm and spirit were weary, but as the Halo flowed across her blade, it became weightless, and new strength flooded through her. She would fight on.
Nashi knelt reverently before the kami and envisioned his family reunited.
If only the biofluctuations students could have seen what became of their prize specimen after its escape.
It had always loved munching on daisies and crystalweed, but lately its favorite snacks were the strange, round roots popping up everywhere.
Freed from the Underworld, the World Eater resumed his endless feast with reckless enthusiasm.
In the days before the invasion, the symbol of its perpetrator appeared in strange places all across the Multiverse.
Converter beasts were sent to ensnare as many of Ixalan's dinosaurs as possible. Many of them were converted themselves—into snacks.
Wrenn had given everything and asked for nothing. She deserved a monument, but rest in a quiet meadow is all she would've wanted.
"Kaldheim's cosmos was never yours to corrupt."
In that moment, the fate of countless worlds rested with one dryad and a handful of the bravest Mirrodin had to offer.
Like the laws, the rules of engagement always seem to bend in the Brokers' favor.
"I take no pleasure in this, but Vadrok might." ~ Vivien Reid, to Lukka
Only the trees were old enough to remember what happened when Moag ignored warnings of Phyrexia millennia ago. They were determined not to repeat the mistake.
"The Tree was the heart of our world. It made me what I am and pulled me back from the brink of death. I won't allow it to be forgotten." ~ Esika, god of the Tree
When Zendikar's defenders faltered, the Roil rose up to shake the invaders from its back.
All children on Kamigawa learn of the Kami War. Hostilities with beings from another reality were understood, and no time was wasted in disbelief.
The Cabaretti performance had veered off-script ... so how were the acrobats still moving in perfect unison?
With Eldraine's human knights called away to defend the courts, lost travelers were surprised to find themselves whisked to safety by the secretive folk of the wilds.
When the Invasion Tree reached the Underworld, it found only teeth and fury.
"How kind of our foes to move in such perfect, predictable unison. Split into squadrons and execute the Lion's Claw!"
In the shield's gleaming surface, the Phyrexian saw a reflection of what it once had been, and paused.
Much to the Phyrexians' delight, sheer curiosity drove many to willingly surrender to *compleation*.
The Phyrexian juggernaut found itself crushed between a rock and a hard place.
No amount of spilled oil and crushed metal could slake her bloodlust.
"I've heard much about you from my daughter," Multani rumbled. "There was a time when I'd balk at your aid, phantom, but she has shown me the merit in Urborg's strange ways."n"Gnshhagghkkapphribbit," replied Yargle.
Folded by an imaginative child, animated by a mischievous kami, and blessed by an otherworldly angel.
"Just like dodging stampedes in the Makindi Trenches back home!"
Silence quickly went from an annoying library rule to an imperative for survival.
Though no bigger than a hand, the surveyors were as vital to the resistance as the largest war constructs.
Ephara blessed the defenders of Theros with godfire, a Nyx-infused incendiary substance that burned without fuel.
Having learned of New Capenna's Halo supply, Elesh Norn dispatched Atraxa herself to bring the world to heel.
The Copper Host brought a hideous mockery of new life to Amonkhet's death-cursed desert.
The Invasion Tree's branches snaked through the streets of Otawara, turning Kamigawa's soaring city into a clouded nightmare.
On the surface of Ixalan's vast tar pits, Phyrexian oil glistened, and old bones began to stir.
The Roil, Zendikar's planewide immune system, rose in full force against the threat of Phyrexian infection.
As oil seeped from Ikoria's crystals, strange metallic mutations emerged in monsters all across the plane.
Kaladesh's wondrous inventions and glowing aether were of utmost interest to Jin-Gitaxias and his Chrome Host.
Deep in Eldraine's wilds, strange eyelike appendages twined among the vines and faerie lights.
The sky darkened and the seas turned to oil as the gods of Theros themselves fell to New Phyrexia.
Serra was a symbol of hope to Dominaria, so Norn defiled her temples with monuments to Phyrexia.
"I've heard much about you from my daughter," Multani rumbled. "There was a time when I'd balk at your aid, phantom, but she has shown me the merit in Urborg's strange ways."n"Gnshhagghkkapphribbit," replied Yargle.
Yuta Takahashi, World Champion XXVII
"It is glory, exalted and *compleat*." ~ Cymede, regent of the Alabaster Host
His body clicked and hummed—a lullaby meant only for machines.
It twines through the roiling cloudscape feeding on the energies of nascent storms.
Takumi knew where all the bodies were buried. After all, he'd buried most of them.
Skodreg knew the Phyrexians wouldn't appreciate his craftsmanship, but they'd get an up-close look just the same.
"What is that horrible flesh-noise?! We must silence it before it grows even louder!" ~ Thxmir, Machine Legion scout
Desert horrors were its favorite treat, but it happily expanded its diet to include extraplanar horrors.
Two titans of Tarkir carved a swath through Phyrexia's elite.